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Rafa out, Gerrard out, mid table mediocrity in

After a season that ended with no trophies and no Champions League place for next season, it was hard to see how it could get much worse for Liverpool football club.

Their captain and nightclub DJ attacker Steven Gerrard endured one of the worst season’s of his career at Anfield, evidently realizing that their second placed finish in the previous season was the closest he was ever going to get to winning the title with such a bunch of average players.

Their star striker Fernando Torres did his usual routine of being world class when fit, but not being fit very often, while quite tellingly some of their better performers of last season included the very average Dirk Kuyt and Lucas.

In defence it was jamie carragher who dragged them backwards for most of the season. his obvious insecurity with his lack of pace saw him move further and further back, looking for the safety of the 18 yard box where nobody could beat him with pace. This in turn meant the entire defence had to keep in line with him or risk playing opposing strikers onside. It also meant they struggled to keep teams boxed in and thus the midfield often struggled to keep any meaningful pressure on the opposition box.

This combination of factors proved to be Liverpool’s downfall and the end result was a UEFA Cup place only gained because Portsmouth were denied their place after going into administration.

So how could it possible get any worse for the ambulance rockers?

Rumour has it that Real Madrid are expected to offer in the region of €30 Million for the services of Stevie ‘Starfish’ Gerrard. It is not known what Mourinho has been drinking or how much he has had, but with their captain gone, Liverpool will surely continue on their downward spiral towards the bottom half of the table.

The other rumour doing the rounds is that Liverpool manager and part time lunatic Rafael Benitez will be offered a severance package by the Liverpool board, to finally get rid of him and his depressing brand of football and his long list of fahcts!

With a squad desperately in need of transformation, but no money with which to do so, Liverpool will struggle to attract a top manager to Anfield in the near future. More likely they’ll end up with someone like Gareth Southgate.

So raise a glass with me fellow reds, to Liverpool Football Club and mid table mediocrity.

Don't forget to collect your free £25 bet with Stan James

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Posted by on Jun 2 2010. Filed under Rivals. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

6 Comments for “Rafa out, Gerrard out, mid table mediocrity in”

  1. What a relief. Can’t get any worse than it is now. RB has been a total flop.

  2. amazin!! torres not fit very much. michael owen bein a great example for man u!! worry about your own squad. glass houses an all that

  3. Michael Owen is our third choice striker. Torres is your main goalscorer. Slight difference there fella.

  4. Aww…. I was hoping Benitez stays there longer, he has been absolutely brilliant for Liverpool

  5. Couldn’t care less!

  6. Lmfao! Couldn’t have put it better myself matey!
    I especially loved the ambulance rockers bit!
    Your best effort yet! :-)
    UNITED! ♥

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